Have you ever thought you loved someone very, much but, in truth, you did not love them very well? Love of ice cream is not real love; it is self-indulgence.
Dan Allender suggests that real love is when you care more about what is best for the other person, than you care about the benefits you get from the relationship. If you are not willing to risk the relationship for what is best for the other person, then you do not love them.
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